I’ve spent enough years on this earth to learn that sometimes life closes a door.

And being the stubborn creatures we are, our first instinct is usually to grab the knob and start rattling the fool out of it.

Maybe it’s stuck.

Maybe if I pull harder.

Maybe if I jiggle it just right.

Maybe if I knock.

Maybe if I wait a while and try again.

Maybe if I kick the bottom corner while turning the knob to the left…

Nope.

That sucker is closed.

And sometimes we need to have enough sense to leave it that way.

We Sure Do Like Looking Back

I wrote my song “The Closed Door” around this very idea.

Some things in life are temporary.

Relationships. Jobs. Friendships. Opportunities. Places. Seasons of our lives.

We don’t always know they’re temporary while we’re living them. Sometimes we think we’ve found something that’s going to last forever.

Then one day, it doesn’t.

The door closes.

And that hurts.

So naturally, we stand there staring at it.

We replay everything in our heads.

What if I’d done this differently?

What if I’d said that?

What if I’d tried harder?

What if I’d stayed?

What if I’d left sooner?

What if?

Those two little words can keep a man standing in front of a closed door for a mighty long time.

Some Doors Aren’t Supposed to Reopen

Here’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way.

Just because you miss what was behind that door doesn’t mean you’re supposed to go back through it.

That’s an important distinction.

We have a funny way of remembering the good parts and conveniently misplacing the reasons something ended.

Time can do that.

It sands the rough edges off old memories.

Before long, we’re remembering the good days and forgetting all about the nights that made us miserable.

That’s when we reach for the knob again.

Just checking.

Still locked.

Maybe tomorrow.

At some point, you’ve got to quit rattling the dang thing.

Closed Doesn’t Always Mean Lost

When something ends, it’s easy to believe you’ve lost something.

And sometimes you have.

There’s no sense pretending every ending is wonderful. Some of them hurt like hell.

But you don’t always know what that ending is making room for.

That’s the part we can’t see while we’re standing there staring at the closed door.

Life has a funny way of making sense backwards.

Something that felt like the worst thing that could possibly happen eventually becomes the reason you ended up somewhere better.

The job you didn’t get.

The relationship that ended.

The friend who walked away.

The plan that fell apart.

The opportunity that disappeared.

At the time, you couldn’t understand it.

Years later, you look around and think:

Well, I’ll be damned.

If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be here.

Turn Around

Here’s the other problem with staring at a closed door.

You can’t see what’s behind you.

There might be another door standing wide open.

There might be a dirt road headed somewhere you’ve never been.

There might be somebody waiting to meet you.

There might be something you’re supposed to learn.

There might even be a whole new life sitting there wondering why you’re still fooling with that old doorknob.

But you’ll never see any of it if you’re determined to get back into a room you’ve already left.

Sometimes moving forward isn’t some grand act of courage.

Sometimes it’s just letting go of the knob.

I’ve Done My Share of Rattling

I’m certainly not writing this as somebody who has life figured out.

I’ve rattled a few knobs myself.

Probably pulled on a couple doors hard enough to loosen the hinges.

That’s part of being human.

We get attached to people, places and plans.

We want things to work out the way we pictured them.

But life doesn’t always consult us before changing the plans.

I’ve learned that accepting an ending doesn’t mean the thing wasn’t important.

It doesn’t mean you didn’t care.

It doesn’t mean you failed.

It simply means that chapter is finished.

You can appreciate what it was without trying to make it what it used to be.

That’s a lesson that took me a while.

Keep Walking

That’s really what “The Closed Door” means to me.

When one door closes, it’s okay to hurt.

It’s okay to miss what was on the other side.

It’s okay to stand there for a minute and remember.

Just don’t build a house in the hallway.

Eventually, you’ve got to turn around.

Take the lesson with you.

Keep the good memories.

Leave whatever needs leaving.

Then start walking.

You don’t know what’s around the next corner.

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Some of the best things in my life came from roads I never planned on traveling.

I suspect that’s true for a lot of us.

So if life has closed a door lately, give yourself a little time.

Then take your hand off the knob.

There are too many songs left to sing, too many people left to meet and too many roads left to travel to spend your life trying to get back into somewhere you’ve already been.

Don’t rattle the knob on a door life already closed.

Sometimes the best thing on the other side of that door…

is you walking away from it.